[Yesterday, I transferred the website to another server. I just wrapped up transferring the email setup as well (Say hi at ab(at)!).]


It’s 12:47 am. These days I hang around in Discord servers late in the evenings – play a few games, talk to people. I’m not really into gaming… In fact most of my (rather large) library is full of bought-and-never-played games. Single player games are the most difficult to get into. I just cannot get into single player games.

I think the reason I cannot get into gaming is because somewhere in the back of my head I think gaming is unproductive. Maybe the Indian mentality of “video games are a waste of time” that I’ve been around for the major part of my life has forever ruined gaming for me. I don’t know. I’m not sure. I’ve tried playing through many a widely loved, critically acclaimed single player game many a time but I just cannot do it. I end up abandoning midway at some point and having to start all over again. I do like to play multiplayer games though. These work well for me, especially when I play once in a while.

I really like the social aspect of gaming. Especially in these times when we’re stuck at home, hanging out with stranger-friends we’ll probably never meet and just shooting the shit is fun and relaxing. I almost exclusively only play two games, and both are online multiplayer. I find getting into a new game particularly difficult. My mind tells me, “it’s not worth it” – spending all that time and energy, learning the mechanics, objects, and all the several different things in the game, only to do something on my monitor screen that has no effect whatsoever in my life.

I’m not saying gaming is bad or condemning anyone who plays games. No. Hey, I wish I could enjoy playing games like so many people do. I really do. It’s just not my thing. And this is just a thought dump.

I want to enjoy playing Life is Strange, The Last of Us, The Uncharted Series and a lot of other good games. Enjoying that story, getting lost in that world. I really do. I really wish I could. But I cannot. I’m doomed to watching YouTube Let’s Plays of TheRadBrad and Gameranx lists or whatever (and I do enjoy doing that btw!), but I’ll never be able to play a game. And that’s okay.

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